August 16, 2013 - Talking to the ladies

I have always had to work at developing good female relationships.  One of the testaments to this is that I have been a bridesmaid one time, and that was for my cousin.  I wasn't even remotely interested in sororities in college, and I shun any trip to the bathroom that I get invited to.  I was always a nerdy jock, which didn't mix well socially with most of the women I have known.  Somewhere during my 20s I became less socially awkward and could finally carry on a conversation (usually by just listening to some other woman talk) with most types of women. 
Today I consider a bit of a personal victory in the "relationship building with other women" department.  I invited my cousin (yes, the one who let me in her wedding) to walk with me at the sports park this morning and she accepted.  Later today, I picked up my son early from daycare and headed to meet the wife of one of my high school buddies.  Both conversations that I had with these women were very similar. 
They both talked about trying to find things to do with their children and we had some very connected conversations.  My cousin has two boys in elementary school, and my new friend has twin girls who are the same age as my son. 
This morning on our walk, my cousin explained how they do a lot of stuff in Greencastle and end up hanging out with a lot of kids from town because not many of the people from her son's school take advantage of what is offered around the county for youth.  She said that it was frustrating to know that there were affordable or free programs that parents didn't take their kids to.  We talked about the cycle of poverty and how people probably think that we are nuts for taking on all that we do, but that is just how we were raised. 
This afternoon, my new friend was trying to make sense of how to build some social capital in this county.  She is Brazilian, and has never lived in such a small town.  She and I talked about how we missed the sidewalks, Target, Trader Joes, and being able to just go 5 minutes away to get to places like Costco.  She wanted to know what to do in the area and where to go with her girls. 
The conversation from the morning rang in my head as I listened to her talk and commiserated with her situation.  I felt like I had been transported back in time to when my cousin had first moved to this area from Peoria and I imagined her having this same conversation with other people who had been transplanted like her.  In fact, my cousin had mentioned that her best friends are people who hadn't grown up in the area and had moved here from big cities.  I am really glad that my buddy and his wife moved back to raise their twin daughters here at the same time we did.  I think that finding people like them will be a big part of our growth into feeling at home in our old home county again.